Saturday, March 20, 2010

Shitstorms.

I have to try very hard to accept the cruel fact that politics are everywhere.

It's just too... too... I just hate it.

I know very well that I hate being alone, or rather, being left out.

That is the worst feeling ever.

Thus when I was flown aeroplane by a friend when I reached Tampines, I felt total emptiness and silence.

For that moment. My mind was empty, all sounds blurred into silence, and everything went into black and white.

It went something like this:

Me: I've reached Tampines
X: Oh sorry I'm not going there already.
Me: Huh?!
X: Yeah. Sorry, was in class and forgot about it.
Me: ...


Then, recent turn of events is just, annoying to say the least.

This is separate from the incident above.

Every single time when something similar happens, my analytical mind goes overdrive and ventures into the irrational.

How come I can just be brushed off like nothing?

Why not say it to my face?

The universe is using sledgehammers already BUT WHY?

If I'm not wrong, I'm repeating the lesson for the 3rd time already, and as far as I can tell, I haven't learnt it.

It's sad. Really.

A face to face confrontation WILL ruin the friendship. As if it isn't ruined already.

But thinking it out on my own doesn't help either. ARGH!

I need explanations. I need rationalisations of things that are happening.

I need to stop.




Stop thinking.